And Guest

Two simple words written on an invitation. Two simple words that imply a lot more than the size 16 French Gothic font would have you believe. You know that font, the one where when a T is crossed and the slashes on the F become all curvy. Yesterday in the mail I received two such invitations, one for a wedding, and the other a party for a wedding. I can't wait till I get married, you get more gifts than Christmas. Due to my current position, i.e. unemployed, these are two additional functions that I will not be able to attend. I wish I could, but the cost is too high for me to leave Detroit.

Still I look at the invitations with curiosity. Who would I invite? I don't know, maybe no one. A guest can be a friend, but to me that G in guest is the same G as in girlfriend. The older I become and still remain single the larger, the more looming it will be. I will be hiding somewhere in its shadow. You see, I can count all the girls I have dated on one hand. If I was in a freak accident with a combine and lost a couple fingers on that hand I'd still to be able to use it for this counting purpose.
I know its ok to go to these functions single. Still there it is on that little manila card, words that society has put more behind than I care for. Then I realize what effort do I put in to change this situation? None really. Right now that is a good thing, no need for me to start a relationship here in Detroit. In high school I was too immature to date. I was also like 5 foot 4 through my junior year. Thank God the pituitary gland kicked over. Then college started and I did it. Took those exams, rode the buses, went to sporting events, hung out, had some interests never pursued them.

When I do go to old roommates/best friends' weddings this summer the only guest I will be bringing is my smile. For now, that is good enough for me. Yes, this is a corny way to end the post, but I lost my train of thought about ten minutes ago.