Here we go again....

With a suit on, bag over the shoulder, and tired eyes in a line next to many nameless individuals I am waiting for the 7:31 train into Grand Central Station. New York City, truly a mecca for many industries, a city so different from many I have visited. But lets take a step back, I'm in Connecticut right now. I am surrounded by 1000 dollar suits and three pointed stars for hood ornaments. This place is incredible. At dinner I notice a table of good looking girls. Me in a shirt from a thrift store and hair cut by a barber and not some fashion stylist on 5th Ave., I doubt I could get the time of day from them. The size of my paycheck and closet are much too small for their liking.

Right on schedule its 8:58 and the train comes to slow stop. Let the race begin. We all get into line and head out the door up the steps and out into the streets. We are here to make a living, provide for a family, and maybe make a difference in this world. My first few steps are shaky, it's been two years since I've been to this land of concrete. But like riding a bike it soon becomes second nature. My pace quickens, and I make my way through the crowd. I am now stepping on others and getting stepped on. I'm hitting shoulders and not saying sorry. I am being a New Yorker. Unlike Connecticut, New York is a diverse city. Truly a rainbow of people, where the characters are more interesting the landscape. Speaking of landscapes here I was in NYC. I saw the Chrysler, Empire, Flat Iron buildings and it wasn't the same. My first time to NYC, I was in awe of this place. Now, I'm like yep its one big city and sure does smell. Stupid taxis honking their horns.

Do I want to live here? Not at all. I left Ford realizing money isn't everything. I arrive to New York realizing it is something. Gas is over 2.10 a gallon, a roundtrip train ride cost me $26, and lunch, merely a quesidilla and a water at your average cafe was about $10. This is one expensive city. Two bucks a gallon, well its NYC, you don't need a car. It's weird and interesting at the same time how everything you need is in walking distance. How if you owned a car here it wouldn't be a luxury, but an inconveince. The largest city in the US for me feels like the loneliest. That would change in time as I met co-workers and others, but thats not then, this is now. I am holding onto a subway handle, as to not fall into the others crowded around me.

4 years ago I went to Detroit with my Dad. He took me the North American International Auto Show. That was when I got my first taste of Detroit, I didn't like it then, but it brought me back. Now only to spit me out once again. Still I was there in hopes of talking to various people to see if they could provide insight on how to be hired. I was nervous and had no confidence in myself. Now I am sitting down with a headhunter somewhere between Park and Broadway on my own with out my Dad holding my hand. I want a job, I might need help, but this is my own doing. I'm somewhere off of Madison avenue speaking to a HR director of one the most prestigous advertising agencies not in the US, but the world. Ask me a question, I'll answer it without second guessing. A day ago I received a call stating I will not be selected for a position. Dave Hoffman couple years ago would shrug his shoulders, oh well, guess it's not for me. That Dave not wanting to break his comfort shell. Now how about you give me a few minutes of your time and tell me how I can improve and in the process (in a nice professional manner of couse) try to overcome your objections.

This weekend I will make the drive back to Detroit and most likely will still remain unemployed. I've talked to my mom's cousin here in Connecticut and fortunately has provided much advice. His daughters have received top notch educations. Top notch, try Harvard and Saint Josephs, and are still unemployed. This a tough market. The last three months I've never been more depressed in my life and when you live in a 10x10 room in a basement with hardly any light from outside your outlook is hard pressed to be changed. I'm going to do a lot of thinking these next few weeks. I don't know what is going to happen, and slowly, very slowly actually, I am starting to realize that's ok.

Random things about my 11 hour drive
1. I-80 through Pennslyvannia is beautiful. I want to see when the leaves change to the vibrant reds, oranges, yellows...
2. It seems where ever I go I have free hookups(places to stay) that I don't even realize till I leave
3. I absolutely love music
4. I love it so much that on these distances to entertain myself I will sing various songs with different accents. 11 hours behind a steering wheel is a long time.
5. That I now don't believe in speed limits, I believe going the flow of traffic. That being said New Jersey and New York provided some exciting times.
6. That my mind often jumps from wanting to live by old college friends to trying to grasp the fact that even I did, it won't last forever so why start now.
7. That I think a lot. There are some people right now I truly miss not having in my life.