Milestone

Today my car hit that legendary mark. Where before it crosses the car only seems slight used to immediately after it becomes ancient. 100,000 miles. A story for every one of them.

The First...

In the past, I have tried to keep this blog on an individual level. I may have talked of friendships and relationships, but in a manner that could be described as vague. The other day I had a conversation, not the longest, but with enough substance behind it that for that night I reflected on our relationship.

She was the first real girlfriend I ever had. It makes it all the more amusing to realize it took me 21 years to be able to say, “I’m seeing someone.” I couldn’t have asked for a better beginning. She was tall, brunette, and had an infectious smile. That was more than enough. She also had some good style. What a few preceding conversations started around business/finance classes I would soon be invited to a sorority crush party. This would be the first of several more through out the semester.

Like most relationships they come to an end. It’s a sad fact about life. If we believe in the true definition of marriage, won’t settle for divorce, then through this dating game, through the mixed CDs and awkward moments, comes out a relationship to battle the test of time. Well the years have passed and I haven’t reflected on our relationship till I don’t know when. With life, others will come into view. More memories created, more mixed CDs made, and stories born. And with each new relationship created your mind may become cluttered with the more recent of memories. That’s not to say everything is forgotten.

We didn’t work out. When trying to figure it out I was left with an “I don’t know.” Maybe it was how I acted that summer in NYC. Maybe it was because we were both competitive in school/work (she has a resume that most grown adults can’t even touch). In the end now and then it can just be a feeling. That something, that something that no one is able to describe but can only feel. Or more often not, lacking that feeling. I was saddened, depressed for longer than I care for. Cat Stevens once said, “The first cut is the deepest.” I think he may be right. The conversation I had made me realize I wish we would have tried a friendship later on in college. There is a time of nothingness between when ex and friendship exist. Truth be told, the latter may never happen. It’s like a compromise, the two parties have to be on the same, clear understanding terms.

If you look at relationships, a lot of it isn’t so much what you see in other. It’s what the other brings out in you. Well my first taught me a lot. How to be a gentleman, how to talk on a phone, be spontaneous. But more importantly she taught me how to care for someone. How not to be selfish. She showed me levels of courage that I will probably never attain. She went through more in her younger years than I could ever imagine. She was/is independent and will always be an inspiration. Her passport is stamped from places around the globe. I don’t see that trend declining anytime soon. She shared with me stories about her new career and where it may take her. I can only think that the people to cross her path in the future will be able to take away something. I was fortunate enough to take a lot. Even as we drift further apart I know she’ll continue to amaze me. I wish her the best.

The Top Lists for Consultants (ones in bold are my personal favorites)

Top Ten Things a Consultant Shouldn't Tell a Client
1. That was my first guess as well, but then I really thought about it.
2. You should see the hotel I'm staying at.
3. Hey, I just realized that I was in junior high when you started working here.
4. I like this office space. I'll have them put me in here when you're gone.
5. My rental car looks nicer than that junker you're driving.
6. Sure it'll work; I learned it in business school.
7. So what do you need me to tell you?
8. Of course it's right; the spreadsheet says so.
9. I could just tell you the answer, but we're committed to a three month project.
10. What are you, stupid?

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear from a Consultant
1. You're right; we're billing way too much for this.
2. Bet you I can go a week without saying "synergy" or "value-added".
3. How about paying us based on the success of the project?
4. This whole strategy is based on a Harvard business case I read.
5. Actually, the only difference is that we charge more than they do.
6. I don't know enough to speak intelligently about that.
7. Implementation? I only care about writing long reports.
8. I can't take the credit. It was Ed in your marketing department.
9. The problem is, you have too much work for too few people.
10. Everything looks okay to me.

Top Ten Things You Shouldn't Say at a Consulting Interview
1. I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of person.
2. Do you pay overtime?
3. I hate flying.
4. I'm useless without ten hours of sleep a night.
5. There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.
6. Do you cover rental cars for collision?
7. Stanford taught me that working in teams is great for slackers.
8. I think three letter acronyms are for people too stupid to remember whole phrases.
9. Two words: family first.
10. Call it what you want, it still means firing people.

Top Ten Ways To Know You're Dating/Married To A Consultant
1. Referred to the first month of your relationship as a "diagnostic period".
2. Talks to the waiter about process flow when dinner arrives late.
3. Takes a half day at the office because, "Sunday is your day."
4. Congratulates your parents for successful value creation.
5. Tries to call room service from the bedroom.
6. Ends any argument by saying, "let's talk about this off-line."
7. Celebrates anniversary by conducting a performance review.
8. Can't be trusted with the car-too accustomed to beating up rentals.
9. Valentine's Day card has bullet points.
10. Refers to lovemaking as a "win-win".

Top Ten Ways to Know You've Got the Consulting Bug
1. Can't stop using words that don't exist.
2. Worried that he who dies with the most frequent-flyer miles wins.
3. Use so much jargon in conversation, friends think you're speaking a foreign language.
4. Constant urge to give advice on subjects you know nothing about.
5. Always-hyphenating-words-that-don't-need-to-be-hyphenated.
6. Keep seeing bullet points everywhere.
7. Can fit the thematic undercurrents of "War and Peace" into a two-by-two matrix.
8. Tired of having a social life beyond work.
9. A two-page story in Business Week is all it takes to make you an expert.
10. Firmly believe that an objective viewpoint means more than any real work experience.