"You just want to be a kid...."

Thats a quote from a co-worker of mine today. She guessed it right on the spot. She is going for a Masters in HR. The only aspect of HR that I find may be somewhat interesting is labor negotiations, such as the contracts that involve unions. I know there is probably a lot more involved than compensation, salary, hiring/recruiting process, but the one part I know about and have no desire to do is the firing. I asked her if she could fire someone, this someone being a good worker, not a slacker or a thief. A worker who is going to suffer because the corporate parents would like to see the shareholders have a few extra bills in their wallets. She said yes. Maybe at some point I'll be a manager and may have to make the same decision. I don't know if I could. I don't know if I could let a mom or dad go who are working to try and support their family. I don't know if I could crumble under the pressure of Mr. CEO who has his 20,000 square foot home(not to mention the Hamptons beach property) and vehicles that cost more than a decent salary. I can't help but wonder if my boyish thoughts will someday fade away as I turn into a man with a gray suit and striped tie.

The Ellusive 6 Pack

The Rec. If you are an A&M student you have been there. It is this large building filled with all different sorts of sporting and workout equipment and more importanlty boys trying to impress(or look at) girls, and girls looking at guys. It's also a place I dread going to. What is it about these natural highs? Oh I just worked out and I feel so great. Bull shit. I just worked out and am sweating like a pig and smelling worse. I then hop into my stick shift car and it feels like I have to put all my strength into just to depress the clutch, my calf muscle quivering with each gear change. Then there's the stick, this little piece of metal that has to only move inches, but after a work out seems a good yard or so. I get back to the apartment and am tired and don't have much more energy. Then here's the kicker. I burned maybe 600 calories, but now I'm so hungry from working out I eat them right back up. A visicous cycle. Yesterday I worked out for the first time in a week and a half (I usually try to make it 3 times..lately twice). Anyways Im as sore as can be. Is that a benefit of working out? I don't think so.

Top 10 things I hate about the Rec.
10. The water in the water fountains is always warm
9. People who put there stuff in a locker, but don't lock it.
8. Carrying around that stupid towel. Sure it wipes up some of the sweat, but Im sure those foam seats absorb their fair share.
7. People who don't understand the concept of working in on a machine.
6. People who carry around their cell phones. Can you put away that little piece of plastic for a hour or so? Believe it or not there is something that is called voicemail where people can leave messages
5. I will end here because I'm tired of thinking of different things. My greatest annoyance though are people who camp out in the parking lot waiting for a spot. Isn't the point of going to the gym to get in shape, burn some calories? Because really, parking in Reed is just miles upon miles away.

Chopsticks and Cosmonauts

I love space. I love the idea of how it is still expanding and I love how I can't even then contemplate what lies outside of space. The idea of the stars we see is light coming from millions of years ago. There are no boundries and while our knowledge is expanding it is at the same time very limited.

I had no idea that the Chinese were going to send a man to space until I read it on CNN's website. Good for China. I realize just going outside the Earth's atmosphere costs a pretty penny and now a good size yen too. I just feel that it is justifiable no matter the expense. Who knows whats out there. Inteligent life?...I'm sure. Resources beyond our wildest dreams? No doubt in my mind, it has too since we are just one solar system in one galaxy of many.

I'm a kid who will never truly be content. My mind will continue to wonder and question.

Four plus years at A&M equals nothing.

Highschool was a breeze. I don't remember ever cracking a book. The only exceptions were a paper I wrote for English and my Advanced Calculus class. Other than that, everything just came to me. The concepts were easy to grasp and I graduated at the top of my class with a full ride to a Montana State.

I've been told by parents and recruiters alike what they look for on a resume. I honestly thought I had it down. I have a 3.87 GPA, my electives went towards a Certificate in International Business. Not too shabby. Do you have any international experience? You bet...try 6 months of it. Work experience, not only have I tried to maintain a job the past two years while attending classes, I've also landed two internships. One of them landed me in right in the middle of Manhattan in advertising the summer after 9/11. An economy that was hurting especially in the Northeast and the respective industry. Leadership experience. Yep got that too. I've been involved with many different parts of campus. It's not restricted to business, but also community involvement and other aspects of the campus. Last semester of my senior year and I am feeling pretty damn good.

Jump back to reality(now I got that Enimen song going through my mind). I can't complain too much, I have had one interview and five more already lined up. I am confident that a few more will trickle down. Still there are many positions I have applied for through the Career Center that I wasn't selected for. In addition I've been doing some job researching of my own using the Internet. I've filled out countless personal forms, answered questions (technical & personality aptitude) with no avail. What are these people looking for? I guess inside connections. It all comes down to not what you know, but who you know. That's a shame.

Aber and Crombie need to go back to fashion school.

Ok a couple weeks ago I buy some T shirts from that store so beloved by highschoolers living in surburbia around the US. I'll admit, some of their stuff I like, hence I did buy two t shirts. However I don't see how anyone could spend close too a 100 bucks on jeans that already have holes in them. I got a 30 dollar pair of jeans that I put holes in myself. Now thats a bargain.

What I really want to know is who works in Abercrombie's sizing department. I am large with respect to t-shirts with any company. Long sleeve, polos, sweaters, same thing all large. Now here I am wearing a large Abercrombie T-shirt that is definitely on the smaller size. It's suppose to make me look cut and if I wasn't in that good of shape(translates to not scrawny and not fat) I'd look like even more of an idiot. Who do they think they are fooling? Frat guys obvisouly as they are the common wear in the halls of Wehner at the bars of Northgate. Girls sizes didn't escape in the inner workings of Mr. Fitche's money making scheme. Girls might feel special buying a smaller size, but the truth is they are still the same size.

On a side note: I have read some of my past postings and I admit my grammar is not up to par. It's just when I am typing I think I am using the correct wording, tense, punctuation, and so on. So just deal with it.

The world is a beautiful, amazing, and one fucked up place.

I love life. I love everything about it. The emotions we experience, the relationships we build, the sights we see. Our lifes can range really from a couple days to 100 plus years if we are lucky. I wish we all could be that lucky.

Today a suicide bomb went off again in the Israel/Palenstine region. A country or area of the world that I truly don't know if it will find peace in my lifetime. I can't imagine living over there and not being fearful. My mind would constantly wonder about my personal safety everytime I hopped on a bus or saw someone who didn't look like an Israelite.

While I can't imagine, it seems to me America doesn't care. This country is great. We have freedoms, we are starting to embrace diversity, the opportunities are endless. 9/11 was a tragic event and it brought reality to many Americans(I am generalizing Americans from here on out in this entry, there will always be exceptions). Its hard for me to think that this was the first time people really tried grasp terrorism. Its been going on through out the world. It's been 2 short years, and what is the country concerned about now. Jobs. Job market. Consumer confidence. Gross National Product. Numbers, mindless numbers. Everything and anything concerned with the business economy. How easy it is for us to forget what happens and what is going on around us. How easy is it for us to forget that there are soldiers still risking their lives in Afghanistan, Iraq, and really throughout the world. America wanted to rid Sadam and his evil regime. Most likely Sadam is still alive as well as ol Bin Laden, but America doesn't care. They aren't voicing their opinions. A country who was willing to go to war to end Sadams rule, the same country where no common man if asked would be willing to go. Americans want to see what the Dow Jones is at, and if its not on the upswing well then it's a horrible day.

I don't forget about terrorism, starving children, landmines in Bosnia, missing toursists in Colombia, lack of medical treatment in the South East Asia. I think about it everyday. Every morning and when I go to sleep. I can't forget because I don't think we should. Even though I have these strong opinions, I am American as the people next door. While I think about it, I don't act and there in lies my flaw.

Southern Gentlemen and the Elusive Job Search

I've noticed one thing on the on-campus busses here at A&M. The more the country the boy looks the more likely he will give his seat up. All corp guys do too. I've also observed how foreign male students never give up their seats and then there's the inbetweeners (me included), and then there's classic A&M country. I give up my seat, but I really wish I could sit. I do realize then I'd look like a jerk.

My computer is now fixed. I also lost about 100 emails in the process. I had some I kept that I always thought someday I would go back and read. Have something to bring a smile. Then there were a few job opportunity ones. Those I wish I had.

The companies coming to career center do not excite me to the least bit. I just look at them and think blah. I can't sell. I doubt I could sell a snow cone on a hot summer day to a bum for free. Its just not my personality. Interview signups have slowly started, and every week I take it there will be more. I had the opportunity to interview with Wachovia Securities for an investment banking position. I decided to decline because life isn't worth working 100+ hours. I wouldn't survive, and I'd like to have a bit more fun. There's a few buying positions that interst me, but right now it is the energy company positions I truly desire. Me and probably every other Ag who is from Houston (so about half the student body). I thought I would have a good chance of finding employment, but it's starting to look a bit different.